Asking For Help

How often do you ask for help? 

Once a day? Once a month? Never? I know my examples sound extreme but a few weeks ago, I was talking with one of my Finding Superwoman™ coaching clients and she talked about how overwhelmed she was at her home. She has a teen son, a tween daughter and a husband.

When I gently reminded her about these people that live at home with her, she laughed and said ‘Oh they won’t help out.’ 😨 ‘What do you mean they won’t help? Have you asked them?’ ‘Well no, I didn’t think I had to ask for help.’ I now understood her dilemma, she didn’t know how to ask for help. I grew up in a culture of everyone pitching in at home; with the exception of my dad whose only household chores were cutting the grass and painting. 🤷🏽‍♀️

As young kids, my mother trained us to pick up our toys and clean our rooms (before we were allowed to take our daily nap). As we got older, our responsibilities increased to include things like starting dinner and doing laundry.

My husband and I share household things like cooking and kitchen clean up. If I cook, he cleans the kitchen. The chores are not split equally but I don’t feel like Hazel the maid either.

Asking for help and training your children to help around the house is important for you to maintain a semblance of sanity and order. Whether you work outside of your home, or work from home, doing ‘everything’ does not help you manage your household workload or your peace of mind.

Teaching your children the value of taking responsibility for household chores builds character. It also helps you busy mom (or dad) to do those activities that are uniquely yours to do to insure that the household runs properly.

If you grew up in a house where your mom or dad did not require anything from you except to go to school and get good grades, then this is an opportunity to get outside of your parent comfort zone and build a new skill. It takes three things from you:

1. Decide what chores you want your child(ren) to do

2. Have a family meeting to discuss what your expectation is and when the chores will begin as well as the consequences of what will happen if the chores are not done

3. Be flexible as you establish these new routines. Rome wasn’t built in a day, nor will your tweens and teens easily accept a new set of responsibilities without some grumbling. Stay consistent with your expectations of them and stay sane!

For more tips like these, look for my weekly blog. Click here to download my Moms Can Have It All worksheet.

Best wishes,

C. Lynn Williams – #MsParentguru

http://www.clynnwilliams.com

April 20, 2017 at 7:25 am Leave a comment

How Are You Managing Your Finances?

April is Financial Literacy Month, and I asked a financially smart friend of mine – Syndie Schmeltzer to share her ideas of how to be savvy when it comes to our finances. Basically kick the chaos from financial mismanagement and increase your wealth!

It’s Financial Literacy Month! 

As women we usually end up being the ones in charge of the money that comes into the household. So ask yourself: How can we truly provide what’s best for our family if we don’t fully understand how money works.

Let this be the year you take control of your finances…

– Wouldn’t you like to find the money you didn’t know you had?
– How about knowing how to have your money work just as hard as you do?
– What about paying for college?
– Wouldn’t you finally like to understand if you have enough protection for your family?
These are just a few of the topics that will be taught during our “Money Smart Week”.

Here’s a tip you can start using today.

Do you know the Rule of 72? This simple but little known formula is a great way to estimate how long it will take your money to double.
Here’s how it works: Take the number 72 and divide it by the rate of interest you hope to earn. 

That’s it!

The number you get will tell you approximately how many years it will take for your money to double.

For example, say you had $50 in an account at a 2% interest rate. Using the Rule of 72:

72 ÷ 2 = 36

That means it would take approximately 36 years for your $50 to grow to $100. (This formula really shows the value of a higher interest rate, doesn’t it?)

When you know how money works, you know that time can either work for you or against you. So start leveraging the rule of 72 today! Ask me about being Money Smart.

For more information, contact me by email or phone:
Syndie.schmeltzer@oakbrookfinancialcenter.com 630-842-9357

Thank you Syndie for your excellent financial tips!

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru

http://www.clynnwilliams.com

April 8, 2017 at 9:25 am Leave a comment

Tantrums of a Grown Woman

What adults do you know have TEMPER TANTRUMS? Have you ever had a hissy, (a bitch fit, a melt-down) and didn’t know how to handle it? Where did that  anger come from? I mean it’s one thing to get angry; it’s another to get so mad, you can hardly control yourself! I’m talking about how I felt and what I did to control myself. I’ve been angry before, and found that I felt better if I could blame someone else for how I felt – like my kids or my husband or my hormones. And while I know that’s not healthy, it’s what I did at that time. I’ve since MATURED!

I was really angry at the circumstances that I found myself in. On the one hand I was following my own advice, the advice that I give my Finding Superwoman™ clients when they start to feel overwhelmed. However I was mad at my Creator for being in the situation that I was in. As a faith-based person, I believe that you decide what path you want to take, pray about it and Take a Leap (of faith). As Dr. Martin Luther King Jr said: “Faith is taking the first step, even if you don’t see the whole staircase.”

As I gave myself time to think about what was really going on in my life, I decided that it wasn’t my faith or Creator, it was the choices that I had made for the last year and a half and the daily thoughts that I was thinking that landed me in the position that I found myself.

When things get tough for us as grown women, I believe there are a couple of ways you can handle the situation. 1: You can either have a temper tantrum (like I did), or 2: You can take deep look at the chain of events that got you where you currently are. The deep look inside builds wisdom because it causes you to do self-reflection.

On this particular morning, I allowed myself to have a meltdown – – a temper tantrum and decided to feel sorry for myself, the world is so cruel and that was it. That didn’t last very long because it felt weird.  I settled down, reached for my journal and wrote how I felt; then asked for guidance. It didn’t take long and I felt better.

I would love to hear How you handle disappointments?

When I coach my clients about finding their superwoman, I encourage them to discuss what’s really bugging them and determine what is most important in their life: work, family or relationships. Once they’ve sorted out what’s most important, we work on determining how to remove stress and those feelings of being overwhelmed by what family members and work associates think about the decisions we’ve made. I believe that you can have a wonderful relationship with your partner and your children as well as a successful career. If you are struggling to make this happen, Click Here to schedule a complimentary discovery session.

 

C. Lynn Williams

Award-winning Author & Founder of Finding Superwoman™
www.clynnwilliams.com

March 30, 2017 at 1:19 pm Leave a comment

Self-Care for Women Who Care

The phrase self-care is used a lot these days. It means practices and activities that we can do regularly to reduce stress and enhance our health and well-being. Remembering to take time for myself is something I have to do weekly if not daily.

As a busy woman, it’s easy to forget to take care of yourself especially if you are running a business, raising children or taking care of aging parents.

In my graphic at the top of this newsletter, are twelve simple things that you can do to practice taking care of yourself. Which ones appeal to you?

 

Here Are My 3 Favs:

  1. Be Positive. Creating a habit of positive thinking can transform not only the way you view the world, but how you move through it. Psychology Today 9/24/2014
  1. Have Fun. Children constantly invent ways to have fun. You can do the same thing! Have a play day, afternoon, or an hour where you do something completely FUN!
  1. Go Outside. When we were kids my parent’s favorite phrase was “Go Outside and Play”! I love being outside with Nature, whether it’s walking, jogging or messing around in my garden because it allows me to forget the issues that are on my mind. I usually have a solution when I take time with Nature. There’s something about being with Nature that uplifts and inspires me.

Are perfection issues derailing your relationships?

Text the word PERFECTION to 708-501-7060 to receive a neat gift and an opportunity to connect with me.

 

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru

Family Dynamics Strategist, Award-winning Author & Motivational Speaker

www.clynnwilliams.com

 

March 16, 2017 at 11:06 pm Leave a comment

Motherhood – The Greatest Role Ever

As March 2017 begins, I’m thinking about Women’s History Month, Ash Wednesday and the beginning of Lent, as well as my oldest daughter’s impending womens-history-month-2wedding. While each event influences my life in some way, anything related to my children touches me on a much deeper level.

My role as a mother has required that I learn how to:

  • Love
  • Share
  • Care
  • Stand firm
  • Fight
  • Listen
  • Become fearless
  • Hold my children (and myself) accountable

It’s the only role that I know of where you create a human legacy, and generations of people are born. Motherhood is a gift from our Creator that we can choose to be amazingly great at, or an abysmal failure. Often our childhood experiences shape the kind of mothers we become.

Mums and Babies

Mums and Babies

I will be sharing my thoughts about Motherhood today, March 1, 2017, 7:30 PM (CST) on Real Life, Real Love with Chatdaddy Sims on WVON 1390 AM. I would love for you to call in and join the conversation.

motherhood-quote

Interested in taking your family’s dynamics to a new level? Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my inspiring parenting programs for Aging Parents, Mothers and Daughters, Mothers and their Sons or Fathers and Daughters.

Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru

Family Dynamics Strategist, Author & Speaker

www.clynnwilliams.com

March 1, 2017 at 4:19 pm Leave a comment

5 Steps to Overcoming the Guilt of Missed Milestones

When I was growing up, I never understood why my mom constantly talked to me about what to do if something other than what she planned – happened. I was the oldest, and she expected me to be able to continue to follow through if circumstances interrupted her plans for us. She was very intentional about planning and said it helped her manage her hectic schedule of being a wife, mother and a working woman, as well as ours. babys-hand-guilt-mom

As a wife, mother and entrepreneur, I realize how important it is to plan for the unexpected, whether it’s a car accident that causes schedules to be delayed or whether it’s a last minute science project and supplies have to be purchased. I also know what’s like to miss an event for my kids and feeling guilty about it. One of the ways I help my clients is to help them work through issues like guilt and keep guilt, stress and overwhelm from making them feel inadequate, overwhelmed or like a failure.

2017 is a great year to lose your guilt. As an entrepreneur, wife and mother, there was nothing that stressed me out like an unexpected event or family emergency. I’ve learned how to move past guilt and I talked about it during my webinar on Tuesday. I shared 5 key steps to managing guilt during my Missed Milestones webinar as part of a plan to help working women and mothers get a better handle on stress and anxiety.

If you missed this free webinar, no worries, the replay is available until Wednesday, March 1st

Click here to watch the replay.guilt-ridden-mom

Don’t miss it! Kick the chaos out of your life!

When I mentor my clients about finding their superwoman, I encourage them to determine what is most important in each area of their life: work, family and relationships. Once they’ve sorted out what’s most important, we go to work determining how to remove guilt and those feelings of being overwhelmed by what our family members and work associates think about the decisions we’ve made.

You can have a wonderful relationship with your partner and your children as well as a promising career. If making this happen is really hard for you, text CONSULT to 708.501.7060 for a complimentary discovery session with me.

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru

Family Dynamics Strategist, Author & Speaker

Founder, Finding Superwoman™
http://www.clynnwilliams.com

February 23, 2017 at 6:18 pm Leave a comment

Please Put That Away

I treated myself to lunch today and did what I love most — people watch. As a parent blogger, I find that there’s always a story either at the  table next to or across from me in most restaurants. 

There wasn’t a lot going on next to me, so I looked around the room. I like watching people and their children. They make the most interesting stories to share.

I looked across the room and there was the most adorable African American boy staring back at me. He was probably 5 years old. I smiled at him and he waved. Pure love! His mom never looked up from her phone during our brief exchange. Nor did she look up or talk to him except once or twice with an angry look on her face. They were there when I got to my table and stayed about 45 minutes.

Now I’m intrigued because he was basically on his own to amuse himself without a word from his mom. I guess in fairness I could have gone over and asked her if he was her son, but what if she told me to mind my own business? Not a good outcome.

I tried, really tried to mind my own business and starting playing Words with Friends but my curiosity took over and I looked over to see if they were having any interactions or conversations.

Nothing! He’s just a little boy, and I don’t know the history of their relationship. But when we ignore our kids, they either find other people to talk to or they act out for attention. He looked like he needed a hug. I wish I could have given him one. ❤

Kids take a lot of time and sometimes all we want is an hour by ourselves. I can help you figure that time out and relate to your kids.  Give me a call. 224-357-6314

C. Lynn Williams

#MsParentguru

Author & Founder of Finding Superwoman

www.clynnwilliams.com

February 11, 2017 at 9:48 am Leave a comment

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