Effectively Managing Thanksgiving Activities

When the holidays occur, does your willpower for time management go out the window? Do you feel that nothing can be done properly unless you do it yourself? That’s a bad feeling especially when you are exhausted, irritable and everybody went to bed hours ago. You make it a point to do everything to make Thanksgiving wonderful, but when the day arrives, you are exhausted, testy and no fun to be around. 

I’ve been there too! The major difference is that I grew up in a household where my mother believed in delegating tasks to my sister, brother and me. It didn’t mean that there weren’t a ton of tasks that only she could take care of, but we all participated. If we didn’t do it to her liking, she taught us how to do it properly. As I hosted Thanksgiving dinners with my own family, I send out the menu and asked who wanted or to make (or purchase) an item. This made our dinners more collaborative and I wasn’t completely stressed out by the time the guests arrived.

Depending on your traditions, Thanksgiving may be a formal affair with tablecloths, silver (yes the kind that has to be polished) and china. Or you may be less formal, but everyone will be at your home and you have lots of food to cook. Either way, here are three tips for effectively managing Thanksgiving activities and preparation without losing your cool.

  1. Create a list of things that have to be done. (It’s not too late, as long as you create it today!)
  2. On that list, put names of family members or friends who you can delegate this task to.
  3. Be gracious with the help that you receive.

#3 is probably just as important as #1 & #2. Being critical of the help you receive, whether it’s cutting up veggies, ironing tablecloths or how someone prepared a dish, makes those who help you, disappear when you need help in the future. If you don’t like the gravy, your daughter-in-law made, keep it to yourself.

Oh and be sure to get to bed at a decent time on Wednesday, so that you can enjoy your family and friends.

Happy Thanksgiving!

 

 

I would love to hear how you slayed on Thanksgiving?

When I coach my clients about finding their superwoman, I encourage them to discuss what’s holding them back and determine what is most important in their life: work, family or relationships. If you are struggling with time management and planning, Click Here to schedule a complimentary discovery session with me.

C. Lynn Williams

Award-winning Author & Founder of Finding Superwoman™
www.clynnwilliams.com

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November 20, 2017 at 4:23 pm Leave a comment

5 Brain Warm-up Exercises for Mental Clarity

Mental clarity is essential to our health and success, and luckily it can be restored very easily, and very quickly. Here are 5 fantastic brain warm-up exercises that can be done in the morning to encourage mental clarity, leaving you with a mind as clear as a blue sky.

1. Find a Noun for Each Letter of the Alphabet
This simple exercise gets both sides of your brain to work together and it’s quite enjoyable too. Go through the alphabet and think of a noun (the more unusual the better) for each letter. Your left brain will help you to think of the word, and your right brain will imagine what the noun looks like (color, size, shape). This exercise gets the entire brain to focus and eliminates brain fog.

2. Classical Music

Studies have shown that music (especially classical music) can have a significant effect on our brain function, mental state and mood (it’s called The Mozart Effect). 
Calming pieces of classical music can slow down your heart rate, which decreases blood pressure and lowers the level of stress hormones in the body. A stress-free mind is a clear mind, and this can be even more effective if you play the instrument yourself.
Fun fact: surgeons have been known to perform surgery while listening to classical music!

3. Yoga
We know exercise is a healthy way to relieve stress, but yoga is even better because it combines exercise and meditation to de-clutter the mind. When a person is holding a yoga pose, their mind is focused on their breathing and staying still so much so that other thoughts are removed. Kickstart your day with some mind-clearing yoga poses such as ‘Warrior I Pose’ or ‘Tree Pose’, which really diverts your focus to breathing and balance.

4. Brain Dumping

Brain dumping is about transferring all of the thoughts in your head onto paper a bit like journaling. All that’s needed for this exercise is a notebook Start jotting down any tasks that you haven’t done (big or small) and anything else that seems to have gotten the best of you. 
By writing down tasks you’ll gain more clarity in terms of prioritization, making it much easier to focus on the important tasks and leave the trivial ones to be dealt with later on. Brain dumping relieves you of that panicky feeling where you stress so much about all of the things that you need to do, that you can’t do them.

5. Brain Games
Games such as sudokus, crosswords and math quizzes are a great way to clear brain-fog. Whether you prefer mathematical problems or word games, a brain puzzle in the morning will stimulate the mind and improve brain function. Puzzles also improve memory and reduce the likelihood of brain degeneration in your later years!

Finally…
Did you know that there are many other ways that mental clarity can be attained? These include making sure that you’re hydrated, eating a balanced diet for the vitamins and minerals that the brain needs to function, physical exercise to release serotonin (the feel-good hormone), and getting enough sleep so that our brains are rested.
Combining a healthy lifestyle with any of the above exercises in the morning will leave your brain clutter-free and ready to concentrate on the important tasks of the day.

I would love to hear what you do to achieve mental clarity?

When I coach my clients about finding their superwoman, I encourage them to discuss what’s really bugging them and determine what is most important in their life: work, family or relationships. I believe that you can have a wonderful relationship with your partner and your children as well as a successful career.

If you need help moving forward, Click Here to schedule a complimentary discovery session.

C. Lynn Williams

Award-winning Author & Founder of Finding Superwoman™
www.clynnwilliams.com

November 1, 2017 at 3:48 am Leave a comment

The Importance of Setting Boundaries

Has anyone ever stood too close to you in an elevator? How did you feel? It was uncomfortable right?

Not only do I feel a little claustrophobic in a crowded elevator, I also feel that way when tasks start to pile up on me and I allow them! I don’t say NO!  In the past, there were a lot of reasons that kept me from saying NO –  my environment, my upbringing, my willingness to please; all kept me from saying “No I can’t do that for you.” It didn’t matter whether the request was work-related, friends, or family members.

I realized that I did not set boundaries for myself. I would do the task, but be angry about it. I’d say to myself – “I can’t believe they asked me to do this!” It wasn’t until I realized that I was the only one who could control this. The only way I was going to have time to myself, was to allow myself to set boundaries around what I would and would not do.

Depending on your culture, upbringing, or social status, the only time women feel comfortable setting boundaries is when they don’t feel good. Society understands when women are sick and can’t do something as opposed to not wanting to.It’s a big difference between wanting to do something and not having the resources, and not wanting to do something and not knowing how to say no. Setting boundaries is a way of caring for you. 

Just like with any other habit that we begin, start practicing by saying No. Practice setting boundaries on what you’re willing and unwilling to do. Give yourself permission to say no to things that you really don’t want to do. It may feel uncomfortable at first, but just like with any other habit that you practice, you will be surprised at how comfortable you feel and how it begins to relieve the stress and the anxiety that you experience when you take on yet another project that you really don’t have the time or the desire to do.

As entrepreneurs and busy businesswomen, our success is predicated on making wise decisions. Not just making wise decisions for our businesses, but for ourselves as well. Our male counterparts do it every day. How often has your significant other said no to you? It’s just one little task that needed to be done, and he said no? Don’t get mad at him. Just learn to do it more often – for you.  #setboundaries

Interested in learning more about how to control the stresses in your life and maintain balance? Contact me – to receive information about my inspiring coaching programs for working and entrepreneur mothers.

Click Here to become a part of my Finding Superwoman Facebook community.

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru

Founder of Finding Superwoman, Author & Speaker

www.clynnwilliams.com

October 20, 2017 at 12:01 pm Leave a comment

Question for You!

What should you do if you don’t like your kid? “I didn’t want a child, but my husband did. So we had a child. She is cared for by my husband and his parents. She is 4, and talks constantly. She’s driving me crazy. What can I do?”


(This question was posed on one of my online networks for parents, and it really touched my heart)

How would you advise this mom? I’d love to hear back from you. I’ll print the first 5 responses (serious answers only, no sarcasm please) in next week’s blog.

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
www.clynnwilliams.com/contact

October 4, 2017 at 6:55 am Leave a comment

What Makes Us Hold On to Our Sons

I remember feeling happy when I got pregnant with my second child. But I wondered where would I find love to give this new child, when all of my mother love was going to my first-born – my daughter Cand.

Mums and Babies

Then Al was born and God opened up my heart to give lots of love to this new baby. It was amazing how differently I felt about this kid – this son of mine. There isn’t anything that you wouldn’t do for your son and that’s pretty cool while he’s a baby or a young boy. He’s so lovable, and the thing about boys is that they graciously allow you to take care of them. As his mom, you’re his first love and he’s pretty possessive about. It doesn’t matter whether you are married to the love of your life, or you’re a single mom, those boys really attach themselves to your heartstrings and hold on. Usually that possessive love only lasts while they are young boys. However, we’ve gotten used to the attention. So we try to everything we can to preserve that feeling of love by giving our sons, our time, money, support – everything!

The problem occurs when you’re still doing everything for him into his adult years. You’ve taken care of him throughout his teen years, his college years (or working years), and haven’t required him to take care of himself. He’s your #PamperedPrince, lock, stock & barrel! Not only are you taking care of him well into his adult years. You don’t celebrate the women that he’s brought for you to meet and approve of. You find fault with each one of them – they’re not good enough for your son. 

What makes us (as moms) hold onto our sons so tightly? I can think of three reasons:

  1. We are afraid our sons won’t love us if we stop taking care of them
  2. No one else will love us like our sons
  3. Our sons won’t do the right thing without our constant guidance

Here’s the truth – none of those statements are true! If you’ve been consistent in your love, discipline and guidance for your son, he will be okay. If you’re a single mom, make sure to give him positive, trustworthy male role models. He may do things just like you want or he might do things you would prefer he didn’t do, but trust the process. Let him go. Allow him to grow up and become the man you always knew he would be! He’ll make you proud.

Interested in learning more about your mother-son dynamics? Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my inspiring parenting programs for Aging Parents, Mothers and Daughters, Mothers and their Sons, Fathers and Daughters or Fathers and their Sons.

Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru

Family Dynamics Strategist, Author & Speaker

www.clynnwilliams.com

September 29, 2017 at 1:10 pm Leave a comment

How Following Your Gut Positively Impacts Your Business

For those of you who do things strictly by the book, who have to have all I’s dotted and T’s crossed before proceeding ahead. This article is NOT for you. I’m writing for the people who like me like to have the facts and figures well thought out, but also leave a little wiggle room for intuition, mother wit, or as my friend Andrea says, the Tingles

How many times have you avoided a traffic jam because you took another route? Or I think about several experiences where I avoided a bad experience, just because I followed my instincts at the perfect time. As we commemorate 911, I think about colleagues and friends who were supposed to be in New York City on September 11, 2001 and missed being there because of something that held them back. What was that something?

How well are you listening to that little voice inside your head when it comes to your business? Early in my career, I didn’t rely on my intuition; instead I asked my mom what she thought as new job opportunities were presented to me. Being the wise woman that she was, she’d ask me what I ‘felt’. Myers-Briggs[1] had me typed as a thinker, not a feeler, so I didn’t trust my feelings. Except that they were right 100% of the time – when I followed my gut! Interestingly, the more I began following my gut, my Myers-Briggs typing changed. 

So where am I going with this? Well, in addition to the five senses that we have: sight, smell, touch, taste and hearing, we’ve also been gifted with senses that are not easy to measure or explain. I’m talking about following those instincts of yours.  Follow your intuition. Not just in your personal life, but also when it comes to your career or your business. Try this! Take time to center yourself with no distractions. Think about what it is you want and listen to the messages that you receive. (If this is new to you, you may need to perform this exercise several times.)

Interested in learning more fascinating facts about your intuition and how to use it? It will be the topic at one of my upcoming monthly Finding Superwoman Lunch & Learn events.  Click Here to register.

Click Here to receive my free gift on managing your time.

C. Lynn Williams

Founder of Finding Superwoman™, Author & Speaker

www.clynnwilliams.com/contact

[1] Myers-Briggs https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Myers%E2%80%93Briggs_Type_Indicator#/media/File:MyersBriggsTypes.png

September 15, 2017 at 4:12 pm Leave a comment

How Well Are You Managing Your ADULT Pampered Prince?

I keep running into women who tell me these incredible stories about how their moms (and dads) are still taking care of their brothers. Mind you we aren’t talking about teen or college-aged sons, but sons in their 20’s, 30’s, 40’s and 50’s. Depending on the situation, taking care of your adult son, means you are paying his rent, car note, buying groceries, washing his laundry or he’s still living with you.

Portrait of a mother and her young adult/late teen son.

While there are cultures where the children stay home until they marry, the son or daughter is either in school or working. These are not the families I’m talking about. I’m referring to those households where no matter what the son has done, mom defends him. I experienced this while teaching at an all-male high school. If my student had cheated on a test or plagiarized a paper, his mom wanted to know what was I doing to cause her son to cheat or plagiarize. Crazy!

I’ve also been guilty of zealously taking my son’s side when I thought his father or stepdad was being too harsh with him. But here’s the thing I’ve learned: the more you defend your son to his father, stepdad, teacher, or whomever – the more your son feels that he can do whatever he wants without consequences. You see it in toddler boys. Often his behavior is considered cute even when he says “shut-up” or hits you back. It’s a different story when he tells you to shut up and he’s six or 16. Then it’s not cute. Hold him accountable when he’s a teen and doesn’t want to stay in school. It’s not okay to let him quit just because he can’t get along with his teacher or coach.

As a divorced mom, I thought I was raising my son properly. At the time, it was hard hearing any criticism of him. Not that I thought he was perfect, more that I felt it reflected badly on my parenting skills. In my The Pampered Prince: Moms Create a GREAT Relationship with Your Son book, I talk about how teaching at the all-male high school made me a better parent. I required my students to follow my class rules, complete their assignments on time and be respectful. When they didn’t, I had consequences for them. As I thought about it, I realized those same rules applied to my own son – my pampered prince. It was a great AHA moment for me! 

Today as I watch the news and hear from mothers who vigorously defend their son’s behavior, I think about the importance of holding those sons accountable at an early age. Saying “shut up” at two and three years old isn’t cute, it’s disrespectful. If you allow that behavior to continue, you’re creating a monster. Just like you teach your son to read, write and count. Teach him to be accountable for what he does, and to be respectful of others – those who look like him and those who don’t. If life brings him back home to live with you (as an adult), remember he is an adult and can take care of himself. Washing his clothes and cooking meals for him is not going to encourage him to move out of your house, or make him good material for marriage!

#StaySane

Interested in learning more about your family’s dynamics? Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my inspiring parenting programs for Aging Parents, Mothers and Daughters, Mothers and their Sons, Fathers and Daughters or Fathers and their Sons.

Click Here to pick up a copy of this book. 

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru

Family Dynamics Strategist, Author & Speaker

www.clynnwilliams.com

August 31, 2017 at 3:06 pm Leave a comment

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